Sometimes you just have to hold it together. I once heard that if you are about to cry in a public place, try this: curl your tongue to touch the roof of your mouth and hold it there, for how long I'm not sure. Maybe until you think you are over it. I was suspect, but it is something you can do without other people actually noticing, so I tried it today, out of desperation, at work. Tears never made it out of the flood gate, so I'm a believer now. I always try not to make a habit out of crying at work - it's not a pretty sight and it just causes a whole bunch of commotion, especially because I really am not a crier. Anyway, I tell this story because I think my little monkey had the same kind of day in some respects.
At pickup for Jackson today, the teacher said he had a wonderful day again - two great, fun filled days in a row. And he couldn't have been in a better mood! I was excited for a happy night ahead. From the moment we strapped him in the car seat, Jackson Robert Wells completely fell apart. He was inconsolable as he whined, screamed an ohhhh so piercing scream, maniacally laughed, and just wept. I wondered where Jackson went, because this was not the boy I picked up a few minutes prior. He didn't want to be held, but didn't want to be let go. He didn't want food, but he was clearly hungry. Well, maybe he wasn't actually . . . he stared directly into my eyes, and blatantly tossed the ravioli on the floor in protest. That meant an immediate end of dinner. My patience was waining.
Jackson went to sleep at 6:00. He was clearly exhausted. Like his mom, he probably tried so hard to keep it together during the day - to follow rules, conform to other people's wishes, play nice, be a "good" boy, share, and meet everyone's high expectations. Plus, he did that all without an afternoon nap today. No wonder why he was a mitigated disaster when he got home and could just let his guard down.
What I learned today: Young and old, we all try to "hold it together" until we find ourselves in our safe zones, or around comforting people to help us through hard times. But, when you are too little to have the language to express yourself, it comes out in a whining, crying, laughing, screaming meltdown. A major release like that would be a lot more beneficial than doing a stupid tongue trick to stop yourself from crying - if we took a page from Jackson's book, it might be noisy and chaotic, and a little uncomfortable to watch, but ohhhh what a release it would be!
